I went to the funeral last week,I got to work and was instantly a bag of nerves and tears when I saw my usually scruffy colleagues tunic-ed up with boots bulled and gloves on.I was spilling things everywhere cos I was nervous/upset-boot polish all over the floor,and I had to do my hair twice.
We arrived and met up with colleagues past and present,then we began the honour parade.I stared into the distance cos I knew if I looked at my friend opposite I start to cry,and I knew she was doing the same,then the bagpipes played and the bikes led the cars in as they started driving down between us and I made the 'mistake' of looking into the cars and seeing his wife and children,one of whom loooked right at me and that was it.Its hard to cry without screwing up your face and wailing,but I just about did it.We followed the coffin (with helmet ontop) into the church,and the service was lovely actually.A few anecdotes and the story of a life.Then outside and standing to attention again,the Last Post and it was over.
Me and the lads on my relief had to head back as we were straight back on duty,but we all had a little cry in the car-what other job would you be expected to do that?You never get chance to go with your emotions as you have to put your professional face on.I could have really done with a drink that day.
http://www.policememorial.org.uk/NationalRoll/2009/NPORH_2009.htm
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4 comments:
Oh, thoughts,I was in tears reading this.
I am so sorry.
We can feel your heartbreak.
Life is unfair i must admit but sometimes it can be really unfair!
Take care.
Sorry to hear of the passing of your colleague. Your post was really moving xx
thank you both,I didnt want to put on too much detail about who he was 'cos I felt it wasn't my place to do so.There are a few things in place to make sure he's not forgotten.x
Thats so sad esp when you said you had a little cry on your way back before going on duty.
Life is very unfair x
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