Friday, May 23, 2008

the funeral

I went to my Nan's funeral yesterday.I haven't seen my Dad's side of the family for years on the whole (apart from my Nan obviously) 'cos they all live miles away from me-well I live miles away from where I was born now.
We all met at my aunts who was looking after her over the last year and it was like a cross between The Royle Family and Shameless,I know I sound like a snob saying that,but it just made me laugh 'cos I forgot that my Dads side of the family are like that.Think council estate,lots of gold jewellery and tattoos and you get the idea.The church was a nice old fashioned one with swinging incense and proper pews which was fitting,I'm really anti-religion but I do like old fashioned churches.I tried so hard not to cry but I did anyway-good job I thought to put on waterproof mascara.
After she was buried we went back to this really rough pub,and I had a chance to catch up with my cousins who I haven't seen for years-one of them has got 7 kids (!)and was at pains to let me know her kids were good because they hadn't been arrested,which shows how different we are and made me laugh.We got on well though and I was quite touched that they still accepted me,even though I was probably always the odd one out being very shy and not as close to the cousins.
I know I sound like an old lady saying it was a nice funeral,but it was.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

I've not been up to much this week really,I've been confined to the station 'cos of a hand injury that got worse after a violent arrest (see post below) and the doc thinks I might have a slight fracture in my finger cos it still hurts 2 weeks later,however haven't bothered to go and get it x-rayed as I hate sitting in hospitals,anyway at least this way I am up to date on all my paperwork and have been very mellow on account of the painkillers the doc gave me.
Speaking of painkillers,I have spent about £30 on prescriptions this week-£30!remind me what I'm paying so much NI for again??
I mentioned I had mice in my kitchen last week?Well I was lying on my sofa with Sidney (my cat) and we both heard scurrying from behind the skirting boards,at least thats where I think it came from,then I get up the next day and there was a little dead mouse on my living from floor-a present from Sid no doubt,not the nicest present to wake up to,and I hate them running around the flat but I hate seeing them dead too.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

this week

I am enduring a week-long training course,David Brent stylee.The trainer says 'yeah?' after everything he says and I am looking forward to him prancing in at the end of the week to 'Simply the best'.
To add insult to injury,they are telling us things we already know and are already doing at work!I have so little interest in what they are saying I am even keeping my gob shut for once,I am always happy to learn new things,but not to sit there and have someone tell me how to do the basics I worked out for myself years ago.At least lunch is free.

Also a couple of weeks ago,my 'man at work',the man who has always liked me and I just wanna be friends etc etc said he was moving away (long story-he's not going though now),cue me being gutted and realising I do like him and what the hell,lets just go for it,well he hasnt really made what I call an effort to see me and now he isnt going to see me on my birthday-why do men do this shit?All I want is someone to be with and have fun with so whys that so bloody difficult?I am really pissed off with him cos I've let my guard down with him and now I dont know if he can be bothered that much.I cant take this let down anymore,goddamn him I like him now and we havent even kissed properly,let alone sleep together!We had a mini kiss at the weekend when we were unexpectedly working together,then I got punched in the face which sums up my life these days.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

R.I.P Nan

My Nan died yesterday after being admitted to hospital on Tuesday,my Dad called me on Wednesday to say she was dying but not to go up as she wouldn't even know I was there and today I found a feather outside my front door which I have always been told is a sign from someone who's died.I like to believe it anyway.
I went out with my friend yesterday as planned and had a few drinks (1 for Nan,even though she didn't drink) and lots of food which I think was the best way to handle it cos otherwise I get too upset and wallow in it,this way I could handle it,and P is like a sister to me so she knows how to be with me when I'm upset.

I am adding some Nan-type things she used to say to us,that won't mean anything to anyone else but made us laugh

'yam saft'-she was from the Black Country and it took me and my brothers years to work out what she meant!

'have some cake,go on,have some cake'
-we'd reluctantly eat it then she'd say 'Don't eat it all save some for everyone else!'