well.........

as per usual I have left it ages to update,and the longer I leave it the harder it is to actually do it,but thanks for your comments and prompts to update.

Lots of things have happened since I last posted,especially with the man at work.In a nutshell,we had a big talk before I left my old station,I realised I got some things wrong and things ended up being back on.Then everyone at work found out which lead me to believe that he was gossiping about us so we fell out again,we have however made it up since then and so far things have been good.He swears blind he has not cheated on me and has not been with the girl who I emailed and that she was taking things into her own hands regarding him,which I can believe although I know there is no smoke without fire,and he must have been encouraging her.I want to believe him though and I cant explain properly in words but his actions are more consistent with the man I know than the one I thought he had become,I want to believe him and I want to give it a go because I can't forget about him.I found out also the person who was telling everyone at work was the ex-Mr 'it'll all end in tears'!!What an idiot,he must be jealous to come in and gossip about us 2 after all this time.Its all so petty and make me realise who men never grow up!Mr 'it'll all end in tears' had better be very careful about what gossip he spreads about me,because I could do the same about him that would ruin his ladies man rep at work,if you know what I mean ;-)!!!The knob.


Enough of that for now,I am sick to death of talking about it and justifying myself and I just want to move on and give this relationship a go,and if it all ends badly then at least I have tried and followed my heart instead of my head for once.I am at a new station now which is so much better than my old one,I work with a good team who actualy know what theyre doing and a sergeant who isnt a complete knob who doesnt know what he's talking about and who doesnt hate me,so work is good which has helped alot,I was in such a bad place mentally before,the ex-sgt was making me start to belive I was a terrible person who everyone hated and I was worth nothing and could do nothing right,when in fact it him who that applies to,not me.

What would one of my posts be without me adding some pics of things I have bought??I have lost my shoping mojo it seems so there are only a few things,but this little jacket which is more of a teal colour irl and is the sort of thing I almost couldnt decide if I loved or hated


and this lace jacket which I think looks very vintage