On Friday my friend who is also a colleague showed me her promo music disc,she had said previously she had been in a band but I'd forgotten all about it,she was good,and seeing it made me feel like I have given up on my passions over the years,things like going to concerts and gigs which I used to do all the time with my friend who was a music producer,my mad passion for music which although I still love music and still buy new music-that passion isnt there the way it was-it that just what happens as you get older or is this job consuming my every thought?Dont read that wrong,I love this job and I am of the mind set that I dont do overtime unless its interesting (it never is!)and that home comes first,but I feel less connected to the outside world than I used to be,partly because I dont even read the papers now cos all the police bashing and stories,true or not of 'ne'er do wells'winds me up!My only passion seems to be my love of clothes,but even thats a hard battle cos I cant wear half of it to work and when I do I get the shit ripped out of me cos I work with people who dont,on the whole have any understanding or interest in fashion,creativity or the visuals of life,apart from when they're eyeing up women.
Seeing my friends other talent made me feel that I have also become one dimensional maybe?I feel like people are sometimes surprised when I do something good or what I've said (common sense mostly) comes to be,cos I know I get judged on how I look (i.e not like a police officer!)and that pisses me off,but why should I change the way I look?Most people have hidden depths but are mine too hidden or irrelevant?I have done some quite cool things in my last career that you may be fairly impressed by and have a portfolio to prove it but its of no relevance now.
Not that sure what my point is really but I can't be the only one who feels like this surely?