Saturday, September 29, 2007

not happy

I am so unhappy at the moment.
I hate work,my personal life has flatlined.I dont know what to do-nothing specific has happened but nothing is going right and work inparticular is bringing the worst out of me.I feel so isolated there and at times it is like working with ungrateful schoolboys who will stab you in the back in lieu of any camaradarie-for all the talk of a modern police force sometimes underneath the surface is the same old macho culture and I am dying a death in it.I cant relax and I dont feel like I can be myself anymore.I saw my friend who I joined with yesterday and she is of the same mind somewhat-I can be myself with her and feel as though I am listened to and liked and as though I am of some value.All things lacking at work for me at this time.

Do I even want to put up with all the abuse you get doing this job?There are some scummy people out there and all I want just lately is to not be around these vile people who dont give anything to society,not have to worry about about getting stabbed or complained about,not to listen to the same old crap coming out of the mouths of these leaches,not to have to do the right thing all the time.

This is probably the most open post I have done for a long time now,I need some good things to happen to me.


Annette said...

Oooohhhh, Thoughts, I am so sorry you are feeling a bit down at the moment.
There are people, many of them, that do appreciate and value you.
All us bloggers do!!

totallyun-pc said...

I think its the time of year... I've noticed myself, and everyone at work is a little tetchy... I don't know why. Maybe its atmospherics as the warm weather leaves us and we set off for the winter... but blokes I normally quite like have been getting under my skin, and I've started trying to do it to them for some reason I really can't think of....

We all get it.... it'll pass.... Well I hope it will... cos we all have guns! LOL