this is maudlin.........

If you are a SATC fan then you will know the episode when Carries Manolo's get stolen and she has a rant about all the investment (monetary and emotional) she has put into other people's lives and celebrations and she wants payback.Thats a bit how I feel atm.Its not about the money, its the time and effort I put into other peoples kids,wedding,engagements and the like and I do wonder if I would ever get the same back if I had the same things to celebrate? And then I think why haven't I got those things to celebrate in my life? On Saturday I went to my ex-colleagues wedding, he is the man I unexpectedly fell for whilst we were working together (this is not a repeat of m@w!!) and we had a 'moment' where we both shocked each other by realising we liked each other,anyway nothing else happened after that because he was always going to get married and I knew I would fall for him if we didn't stay strictly friends, and it would be wrong but damn it he is so lovely! I am gutted he is married.
Cant say anymore, I stopped myself posting this yesterday as I was a bit upset, not that I have any right but still.


On the plus side I have now lost a stone in weight since I started dieting,if I pull my finger out I could lose more.

memories

Something another blogger ,Vintage Vixen, posted made me remember how much I loved clothes when I was little.I can still remember specific items I had,particulary from when I was about 6 or 7.

• a navy velvet t-shirt with red stars,my M+D have a photo of me wearing this somewhere which I can remember being taken.
• a Jimmy Osmond t-shirt-showing my age big time now!!
• a navy Charlies Angels jumpsuit-I loved this to death!
• a crochet squares tank top.stylish or what?
• a pink nylon faux-patchwork dress,very 70's stylee.I used to wear the tank top over this!
• pink,blue and yellow patchwork clog style shoes.
•  a red coat with massive faux fur collar.
• bubblegum pink crimplene flares!

I had a real thing about shoes,when I would get a new pair-usually before starting back at school after the summer holidays I would sleep with them on my pillow.I had to have them in sight when I went to sleep and even when I was in my teens I used to always leave my new shoes in sight near the bed before sleeping.*weird*. I once borrowed a friends clogs,aged about 6 and didnt want to give them back because I loved them so much and desperately wanted a pair myself.
Is it any wonder I love clothes so much??

today

I bought these today,its the first time for ages I've been into central London and had a look around,it wasn't crazy busy so it was bearable.I went into Banana Republic for the first time and bought this top-it looks really mumsy in the photo but on it looks slightly pretty,slightly edgy ands covers my fat bits-I am feeling bloated today even though I am still doing my diet.

Banana Republic £55

these Topshop shoes,I tried them on ages ago and I don't know why I didn't buy them then as I really like them,again they are that mix of pretty and edgy that I love.

Topshop £22

I also got this corsage from H&M,I had loads of these years ago but this one caught my eye as it has a brooch pin and a hairclip on the back so can be used for clothes or hair.

H&M £3.99

This sweater I got last week,the skull is more subtle irl.

Boohoo £18

going shopping in Central London gave me back my fashion mojo somewhat,I usually can't bear the crowds but it wasn't too busy on a Monday,and it was nice to see how other women were dressing and get some inspiration.In Cos I saw 2 women who must have been in their late 40's or early 50's who looked AMAZING.One of them had very blonde hair,tattoos up her arms and was wearing a longline striped top with beige leggings with buttons on the ankles and worn pulled down over her heels and red shoes worn over them,she looked so good,a really good mix of feminine and edgy (I keep saying edgy today!),her friend was more subtley dressed but also looked amazing with a draped cardigan,cage shoes and a gorgeous slouchy bag with chain detail.They both had managed to dress for their age but also with an edge that made me think they must have been in the music industry or something!

Attentive Curator

mmm,I have done this test a few times her on this blog and I always get a different result,maybe I've changed since last time ?I did the test quickly without over thinking it,try it here








http://www.personaldna.com/

new things

I am so desperate to move right now,all in all its been a year since I decided to move and nearly as long since I first put the flat on the market.I have finally stored as many of the boxes as I could in my friends garage and have re 'house doctored' my place again for viewers.I have been buying things for the new place,wherever and whenever that may be as I want a new start with some new things rather that the same old same old I've had for ages.This is some of my haul;

vintage butterfly mirror

vintage bread bin

filing cabinet

I don't need another mirror but i just loved this one and its an unusual size too,approx 27inches across,the bread bin was a bargain at £4.50 and I've always wanted one-I liked the text on this,not too French.The filing cabinet was a practical buy for £8.

James Laver book 1943.

I have bought quite a few bits of clothing that I'll post seperately.I got this book today at a CBS for 50p,its a James Laver fashion plate book from 1943.It is in better condition slightly than it looks in the photo.

round up

Since my bitch of a buyer pulled out I have been putting my flat back into some sort of presentable state.Most of my bits & pieces have been packed up and are now stored in my friends garage,so it looks quite bare but hopefully still with enough features to make it stand out from the rest.The lady whose place I still want to buy is house hunting again and so am I ,just in case.I went to see another place very similar to the original property but £15k more and in a slightly different location,it was very 'me' inside and looke dbigger but on checking the measurements it was actually a bit smaller so it gives me more of an idea of what 'my' property will look like when its done up.

this chest of drawers (Ebay sellers please take note,its not 'draws' or 'chester draws'),it needs painting or re-waxing as its somewhat dull in finish,when I went to collect it I thought it wasn't as good as the description as the man carried it out for me and it looked paperlight.When I came to get it out of my car I realised it was heavy and made of solid wood.

I really want a 50's vibe in my new place,and I thought this table was a good way to mix in my mirrored and shabby chic furniture with my wooden pieces.I also cheered myself up with these...

hand knit cardie

Chanel-esque cardie

beach kaftan

close up of kaftan buttons

linen mix trousers,good for smart workwear

cat shopper

River Island rose sandals

lace parka

All Primark except the sandals,I wasn't sure about the lace parka but thought I would regret it if  didn't pick it up,I wore it today when it rained so I love it!

unfuckinbelievable

that, if you know me, is a saying of mine when other words just won't do.



I fully admit I am one of life's pessimists because I seem to get the shitty end of the stick way too often so my observations are that anything that can go wrong will etc etc.My buyer has pulled out without telling anyone.I heard this today at 4 o/clock so have no time to sort anything out, why can't anything go right for me?The flat is back on the market and I am trying to salvage the chain because I want the place I am offering on, if I lose that I won't get another place comparable at that price.
Bloody bitch!
My friend has been here all evening luckily, so I am just gobsmacked rather than upset at the moment.She is joining the job as a special, God help her, so I have been googling dead bodies to show her what they look like.She is hiding her face.

RIP Sugar Minott

5 years

ago, I was 5 weeks out of training school and thought the job would always be as dramatic as that day. Thrown in at the deep end, on my own with no tutor to tell me what to do (not that mine really ever did anyway) you just get on with it and do what feels right but the one thing that nearly made me walk away from the job wasn't the things I saw or had to deal with it was the hours we worked for weeks and weeks afterwards, being forced to spend hours on end standing up, sweating in tube stations and eating McDonalds (yuk!) in dirty rooms with not enough chairs to sit down on. My feet have never hurt as much as they did at that time and now I always have spare kit/clothes ready in my locker 'just in case' after that because you just never know do you?




*not me in the pic by the way!

summer....

strawberries..
maxi dresses
BBQ's-I did my 1st one today, I thought they were supposed to be hard??
wine
car boot sale bargains
new job.

this weekend I got a maxi dress at last!!  (photo in a bit) so I've been in that today as well, I wore it to a BBQ last night with a 30's arm bangle I bought ages ago. (I am quaffing wine now so thats the reason this may not make any sense!!)

AT the BBQ last night my friends friend was there whom I have never liked. We used to always be at the same events and night outs years ago and she was always dismissive and not interested in anyone else other than our friend in common, she aso NEVER used to buy any drinks or bring any when we gathered at someones house,anyway she hasn't changed at all. She turned up last night empty handed which I think is rude, yet she happily drinks the wine I bought with me. rude, especially when someone has spent ££££ on food!

My new job is hard atm, the work isn't but its hard not being with people who know me and get my sense of humour etc. I know it will come in time but I feel a bit lonely atm at work.

Sunday

I got up early and did 2 CBS today, I managed to get myself some bargains then came back and did some gardening which was mainly me digging up plants I am taking with me-there's no way I am leaving things I've grown from seed! It was so hot I cam ein and now I'm watching the England V Germany match which I didn't intend to as I'm not a football fan. I just popped out in the garden at half time and you could hear a pin drop, there's no one out in their gardens which is unusual for my area, they must all be watching the match.

This is my haul,

a rose china tea set, there is 1 saucer missing but thats ok for £2.

a giant glass bowl vase £1.50

2x Elle McPherson gift sets £1 each-I love this range, I really rate it if you are looking for something that works!

3 pieces of BedHead make up £1.

a New Look silk tea dress £1-I think I'll Ebay this though because even though its gorgeous it does nothing for me shape wise.

a BNWT Urban Behaviour dress £1.

2 new tops £1
some bits of haberdashery, I was clearing out my stash of fabrics and sewing bits yesterday and decided to try and start making things again. I used to make soft toys and customise them to reflect the person I was giving them to. Anyway I thought these were too good to walk past.
white oval platter 50p.

hand painted bowl with rose pattern 50p.

a book about Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire 10p-I think I have read this or another one before but I like to keep these historial books.
a plastic Japanese style cat filled with play dough for my friends little girl £1.
a couple of dvd's 31 each.
Juicy Couture hand towel for the gym, not 100% sure this is real but it was 50p.

.

Even I could see Lampard's goal was OVER THE DAMN LINE! What a con.

just like

everyone else, I managed to get all 3 Glamour magazine's Benefit giveaways-Bad Gal black eyeliner, IT concealer (actually my colour!) and Eye Bright, all for £6 and the newsagent man was asking me if he should get some for his wife (yes!), I gave the spare magazines to the other ladies on my course.

bargain!

Y/N

Yes

• buying 2 x 23" plaster ceiling roses for £7 for my new flat from a car boot sale, what a bargain!
• to have actually transfered at long last
• selling some bits on Ebay and making money£££, I also sold some bits I bought at a CBS and made money on them!
• Paris print longline vest.

No

• death by E-learning!
• realising how much I haven't achieved in my old job due to lack of opportunities.
• my hair-its doing my head in atm because its not behaving!
• packing!!! where did all this stuff come from?
• I am finding it easy to stick to my new eating pattern but I seem to have stuck at a certain weight for awhile now, although I have lost 10 lbs so it has worked.

sloths like me

I am feeling sloth like at the moment and saw this brilliant blog all about sloths, so cute you must look at the videos on there!

pinktreefrog

congrats to my friend B

on the birth of her baby boy-I am very pleased its a boy as I find little girls hard work and because I bet it would be a boy at her baby shower! Welcome to the world little T!

goodbye

Yesterday was my last shift. Thanks to useless T/PS, I have been busy instead of a wind-down for the last couple of weeks, so I have had some last minute things (paperwork)  to sort out, and I wanted to actually work with my relief for the last time rather than all be split up so that I could say goodbye to them. Thankfully U-T/PS wasn't there and within half an hour of the shift begininng I blubbed when the lads gave me a leaving card and pressie, which was a relief getting it over and done with as I could feel myself getting emotional as soon as I walked in, then it was business as usual for most of the shift. We went to the relief's favourite takeaway place and then I had to give all of my uniform back, well most of it as every cop loves to collect uniform, anyone would think I can't be trusted as they made me sign for it all! I had a whole car of 'stuff' that I had somehow crammed into 2 lockers and I was done. How I managed to keep my nose clean for my resignation period, I don't know but I did it! Gone.

zzzzzzzzzzz

I am so tired. I finished a run of night turns last week, I was knackered throughout all of that even though I can usually cope with it. We worked quite a few hours OT during the week as well, mainly trying to work around those who should know better (yes duty officer and T/PS I mean you) and we were down to 2 officers throughout the week, so that meant we suffered all the extra work whilst the skipper sat reading a book and booking off on time. Anyway my sleep this weekend has been all over the place, I thought getting drunk would make me fall asleep so I could slip back into day mode, which it did, but I spent all last night awake again! I am stressing a bit now as well because I am so tired I am not making much headway in packing and as I start my new posting soon I doubt I will be able to take time off to move so it will all be a rush.aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhh stress!

Farley Jackmaster Funk

I heard this for the first time in ages whilst driving home from lates. There's nothing better than blasting out a tune whilst totally sticking to the speed limit down an A road, the video has to be seen to be belived!!

I went to a car boot sale today. I was supposed to be doing a sale of my own but got drunk last night and didn't sort anything out, yet strangely woke up really early at about 4 am so I got up and went to a sale for a reccy. I bought quite a bit but only clothes, which is the opposite to what I normally come away with, some of it will be going on Ebay-not that I can be bothered with all that faff anymore but I got some things so cheap that it will be worth doing. The things I'm going to keep are;
River Island pale skinny jeans-a sample and a great fit
River Island linen shorts-another sample not 100% sure about these.
a pink silk kimono jacket/top-by a make I've not heard of before.
Teal Miss S slouchy top.
a fringed jersey scarf
Ash wedge sandals
H&M military style cardy.
I'll upload photos when I can be bothered to take some, I'm so knackered today I should have been out for drink tonight but my drinking mate stupidly nicked someone and has to work a bit of OT, this may mean I will get out of bed and sell some stuff instead of buying it tomorrow morning.

everything happens in 3's

or so they say, I do believe it and I hope its about to happen again. Flat move is finally at its end stages (the world's slowest move!) and I have handed my notice in and I'm about to transfer to a different force-nearly 7 months after the last escape attempt, not in the place I originally wanted, but a good one nevertheless so I'm told and it is close to where my ex-colleagues work, so I will hopefully be able to cross paths sometime. I'm going to go with the flow on this and hope its FATE intevening for the best. The 3rd thing should man stuff right? I thought so last week as I had an unplanned snog (no one says this anymore as its uncool apparently) with a friend who I realised I really liked a few months ago but did nothing about as he is not single (don't bother with telling me off) , so I was happy to just be mates, but we went out for my birthday, got drunk and suddenly, hello! I was gobsmacked as was he, had to tell a few lies to our colleagues who we lost en route and decide what we were going to do about it. After last time, I am not going to lose a friend by getting involved with them so it just goes in the 'mad moments' box and we will stay as we were. Its the story of my life though, I meet the good, funny men who are already taken and miss out.

Oh, and I have now lost 10 lbs although my weight goes up and down by a few lbs every day.